Why The Midlife Crisis Are Harder For The MTV Generation.

I woke up this morning and realized, hey, it’s the last week of 2020. Wow, it flew by so swiftly, even though there were many stale moments, hours, days, and weeks. I contemplated writing about the midlife crisis and did not know where to start. This topic has so many angles and debates that I couldn’t wrap my head around it. However, since we have encountered a critical turning point in 2020, a crisis, many women (and men) began questioning and re-evaluating their perspective on life. And especially women approaching midlife; we are examining the future more so than ever. Will life as we know it changes? How will it look like for our children? What is happening to our careers and savings? Will life become more difficult for our generation as we age? 

These are all valid concerns that kept some midlife women up before the pandemic. But 2020 has magnified these internal doubts and anxieties. And now, at the end of this eventful year, we are still unclear about the future. Sometimes we feel skeptical and weary, and other times, we want to jump on new opportunities and adapt. That’s precisely the nature of a midlife crisis. It’s chaotic and unpredictable. It forces us to reconsider many aspects of life yet opens up possibilities for reinvention and rebirth. It’s hindsight 20 20.

The birth of the midlife crisis

There’s no shortage of articles written about the midlife crisis. If you search it on the internet, you’ll find a slew of expert opinions and topics debating different aspects of this life stage. You can spend hours reading views that question if midlife is a natural process engraved in our DNA or just a phrase, a theory, or an idea. 

The theory

Midlife ‘crisis’ is a term coined by Elliot Jacques, a Canadian Psychologist, in the 1960s as a period of emotional anxiety that occurs in some individuals between the ages of 35 and 65. 

The American Psychological Association defines the midlife crisis as “a period of psychological distress thought to occur in some individuals during the middle years of adulthood, roughly from ages 35 to 65. Causes may include significant life events and health or occupational problems and concerns. However, no empirical data exist to support the notion that this distress is specific to midlife, and many researchers consider the midlife crisis a myth. “

What’s wrong with me?

Not everyone experiences a midlife crisis, but more women, notably Gen X, identify with this stage for various reasons that trace back to significant and personal life events. Whether it is dealing with social expectations, financial worries, divorce, loss of a loved one, or aging, such circumstances are exasperated as we start to worry about aging.

When I think about my personal experiences, I can’t help but feel overly concerned about getting old, aging parents, financial stability for myself and my child. And when I say getting old, I am referring to concerns with health and my energy level both physically and mentally. Such fears derive from cultural beliefs and social expectations, which place significant value on youth and wealth.  

Another major anxiety that became evident in my mid-40s is career growth, something most working women feel strong about and fight hard to accomplish. One of the most apparent reasons for missing or delaying career growth is juggling motherhood with a career. The other reason is sheer workplace discrimination that is still apparent in many organizations. At least for me, these two factors played a significant role in how I felt about my last job. 

The midlife crisis can influence moms who have dedicated their lives to raising children. As their children start to move out of the house to pursue their own lives, moms begin to feel a void and an emptiness. They ask “now what” and contemplate their lives, then they realize that now is the time to pursue passions, find a new direction or an adventure. 

Time is ticking

Despite the events, women who encounter life-changing circumstances, who feel they haven’t reached personal goals before midlife are more likely to face a midlife crisis. Women think they are missing the boat because they are programmed and raised to believe that everything has a timeframe, a place, and a deadline. They are supposed to complete education at a certain age, be married by a specific age, and have a child, two or three by the time we hit x-years old. Delaying the execution of cookie-cut targets and social pressure has emotional consequences: anxiety, depression, guilt, and the feeling of loss. 

Are we old?

The concept of being old after 40 made sense when the average life expectancy was 49 years in North America (less in developing nations). And that was was true only 100 years ago. But as of 2020, the average life expectancy in Canada is 84 yrs for females. If our generation has another 40+ years to live, assuming that we continue living healthier lives than our moms and grandmoms (due to advancement in medicine and lifestyles), why do we fear being 40, 50, or even 60? Why should we worry about being “old” at a time when technological and scientific advancements open up opportunities to continue being productive, to be a contributor and a leader? We have work to do over the next 40 years, a life to live, and possibilities to chase aspirations! Therefore, midlife and aging are becoming obsolete and irrelevant to women over 40.

Breaking the midlife barrier

No one wants to feel like an older adult. Most women say that they still feel they are in their twenties even though they’re over 40. It isn’t because they deny their age; our generation (X-Gen) was born during a time when society started to undergo the technological revolution: color TVs, wireless phones, home computers, digital games such as Atari, MTV, videos, camcorders, walkmans, etc. We were the first adopters of wireless gadgets like the iPod and later on cellphones.

We learned to modify our lifestyles to the times. Gen X women are cognizant of social advances and can intuitively adapt to changes and progress. The intrinsic capacity to adjust are ingredients that kept us feeling youthful and modern. It’s not unusual for modern women to want to be young at any age. It’s the forces of antiquated social expectations that poke our subconscious and throw us off, hence why we fall into crisis. 

Fortunately, we also happen to be rebels and independent fighters who learned to fend for ourselves as latchkey kids. That’s why in 2020, we immediately pounced on the moment. And the pandemic should serve as an example for women to continue embracing change and jump on new opportunities that enhance their lives. Let your guard down and live like it’s 1999. There’s no midlife crisis in our age! There’s only the instinctive desire to do reform and to elevate one’s value.