Today I want to touch upon an important topic that continues to be a taboo in most societies, including North America. Ladies, let’s talk about sex and libido after 40 and during Menopause. If you are over 40, you may notice an increase or a decrease in your desire to have sex. Now, if you’re experiencing an increase in libido, then there’s not much to complain about, and I hope you are enjoying yourself. But if you’ve noticed a decrease in your sexual drive, then you have landed on a wealth of tips and information.
Now, according to science, the reduction of Estrogen and Testosterone can reduce the desire to have sex. Many studies identify additional reasons why women may experience reduced libido. This could include the loss of a partner, medical conditions, prescription drugs, or your partner’s general health. But, let’s focus on the effect of hormone decline and Menopause on your sexual life. This decrease causes vaginal dryness, mood swings, depression, and night sweats, which in turn, causes pain and discomfort.
How does Menopause affect libido?
During Menopause, we experience a decrease in estrogen, which causes a drop in blood supply to the vagina. This can affect vaginal lubrication and atrophy (thinning of the vaginal wall), both of which lead to discomfort during intercourse.
Some women experience weight gain, hot flashes, irritability, depression, and night sweats. These symptoms can decrease our desire for sex. As well, the decline in Testosterone levels make it challenging to get aroused. Now that’s a very interesting reason I wasn’t aware of until recently.
Treatments to improve your libido after 40 and during Menopause
Dealing with Menopause and decreased sexual drive is essential to maintaining a healthy relationship with our partner. There’s no sense in neglecting to deal with this issue. Most online health sites offer the following tips to improve libido after 40:
Talk to your doctor
Sources say that if you are experiencing a decrease in your sex drive, the first step to take is to speak with your doctor, who can figure out the causes of such changes. Be frank and open about what you are going through, whether it’s physical or emotional. Sometimes the cause may not necessarily be hormonal. It could be psychological or stress-related, which will require you to see another professional such as a therapist!
Seek treatments
There are many ways to improve libido during Menopause. The doctor could recommend Hormone Replacement Therapy as an option to reduce vaginal dryness and atrophy. Some other natural methods include:
Lubricant
There are several natural lubricants we can apply to ease vaginal dryness and discomfort. I’ve listed a few options here.
Exercise
I am addicted to exercising because it’s the only way to improve my mood and make me feel energetic and happy. And the reason behind this sense of euphoria is endorphins. The chemical, which is produced by the central nervous system, helps reduce pain and boost pleasure, resulting in the feeling of well-being. Exercising also helps us manage weight gain during Menopause, so please ladies, make sure to commit to exercising as soon as possible.
Communication
I found it awkward at first to speak with my husband about the changes I’m going through. But I felt it was imperative to be open with my life partner, mainly because he thought my feelings for him are not the same. The reality is, I wasn’t feeling myself and was annoyed by the changes. Being open helped him become more empathetic and relieved me from the guilt of feeling inadequate. We tend to underestimate our partner’s reaction to Menopause mainly because most of us grew up thinking it’s a private issue and haven’t heard our moms talk about it.
Focus on intimacy
Taking time to be intimate with each other is another way to stimulate libido during Menopause. By that, I mean spending more time being sensual, holding hands, caressing one another, massage, or even watching shows and movies with sexual content. There are lots of fun adult toys and games couples can enjoy playing together.
Reduce Stress
I don’t know about you, but stress messes up with my libido now. In the past, I resorted to sexual pursuits to unwind and relax. However, now that I’m experiencing hot flashes, irritability, and dryness, I cannot stand the thought of having sex while stressed. I definitely gain my mojo back when I’m relaxed.
Meditate
I recently read that practicing mindfulness can help reduce symptoms of Menopause, such as night sweats and can help boost libido and sex drive. There are numerous studies and theories proving meditation helps redirect your energy and blood flow to sexual organs, consequently improving sex drive. Simple breathing techniques can balance yin and yang, thus enabling you to find your sexual center! Some experts suggest thinking about your libido while meditating can increase the desire to have sex too.
Get some sleep
I’ve previously explained my sleep deprivation problem after 40. There are some nights where I think it’s insomnia, and I keep tossing and turning in bed along with sweating. It would be nice if I can sleep in to recover some of the lost hours of sleep, but it’s practically impossible. Like many, I still have to wake up early each morning and get ready for work. To help myself get better sleep, I eat a very light dinner, limit caffeine intake, and have recently stopped drinking alcohol. I also try to focus on breathing techniques if I wake up at night, which helps me focus on relaxation rather than thinking and stimulating my brain.
Summary
Hormone changes during Menopause reduce sexual desire. The decrease is primarily linked to vaginal discomfort for most women. Other symptoms such as hot flashes, weight gain, and depression can also be linked to changes in women’s libido. As modern women, we should confront this change and address it with our partners and doctors. Taking care of ourselves through exercise, meditation, and practicing self-love is totally OK. In fact, it should be a priority for every woman in her midlife to take better care of herself. We are expected to live longer than our grandmothers, so does it make sense that we spend the 2nd half of our lives in agony and pain?
